Just would like honest opinions on my poem...?

Release the stars


Lightening strikes in different shapes and sizes, making me bleed; weighs down the crisis. I feel like cursing, shouting to spaceships; Screaming so loud, fill in the spaces.


I stuck in the dagger, straight to the heart, twisted it, melted it, and tore it apart. Intentions lose in the game of life, killing and crying, accept and denying. My skin is so numb that I can't feel the rain, sizzle my skin till only bone can remain. Emotions run thick, pour down like molasses, sticky and luring me; the bitter surpasses The sweet. Retreat. I can't take this pressure, explode and then measure the tears that fall. Calling out to the sky for peace. Release the stars, let them fall on me now, show me how To live. I can't give anymore, take anymore, I am full to the brim, living in sin, Dying in truth, please hide the proof that this life is confusing, and bruising. I wake up and throw up, please let me sleep, blink and repeat. Tired of feeling. Let me close my eyes for a while, smiling in dreams that sing me to sleep.

Just would like honest opinions on my poem...?
Very nice rhyme and meter. And I like the way you have used the weather (lightning/rain) to reflect your feelings (explode, tears, full to the brim and so on). The only bit that didn't quite fit for me was from "I wake up and throw up"onwards, only because you didn't seem to have been asleep for the first part of the poem (maybe it could be used in a separate poem?). It's well written, but I liked the idea in the first bit that you were out and exposed in the storm which matched your raging emotions, and not just asleep and dreaming. Oh, dear, I'm sounding like a cranky old English teacher. I particulraly liked the lines "twisted it, melted it, and tore it apart". "killing and crying, accept and denying", "sticky and luring me, the bitter surpasses." and "blink and repeat". ("Blink and repeat" has a nice nightmare quality to it). You are obviously talented. LOL
Reply:lovely
Reply:**** was an intense poem i digged it very cool your description of the poem was very visable i saw every word you wrote....good job